Make Life Easier

27 Things That Will Make Your Life Easier, Period:

By Erin Williams 

1. Respond to the damn email.

2. Call your mom. Chat for five minutes, pretend that public transportation is coming/you’re walking in to work/the battery is low, then get off the phone. All she wants is to know you’re not dead — and to know that your relationship, no matter how shaky it may be, is still intact.

3. Make your bed — it makes the entire room look cleaner.

4. Write out a list by hand. Google may have invented every list-making tool on the planet, but writing it down commits it to memory — and, contrary to popular belief, not every place has internet.

5. When you get a free minute, clean out the thing nearest you, whether it’s a drawer, your gym bag, or your fridge. Just open the door, look at what is moldy, and throw it out.

6. When you get a free moment, do something creative, even if it’s watching ‘Dirty Dancing’ for the twentieth time. Make it a game and study how many times Patrick Swayze’s character smolders for the camera.

7. Apply for the damn job. There’s no sense in complaining about your present situation if you are not making strides to change it. Send out the resume, make the necessary contacts in the field you want to pursue, and go from there. It may not yield results as fast as you think, but the fact that you know you are doing something makes all the difference in the world.

8. Don’t feel the need to fill gaps of silence with blathering comments. That makes you sound like an idiot.

9. Visit one random blog (or five) a day that makes you happy and gives you the motivation to get through the day. If you like food, go check out photos on Tastespotting. If you like to transport yourself into other people’s heads, visit Pinterest. If you like doing fun activities, visit Soul Pancake. There’s something for everyone.

10. Realize when it’s not working out and move on — apply that to whatever situation you wish.

On Limerence and Loss

A piece of writing on limerence and loss I bookmarked a while back.

It's worth the read.

Why I Won't Ask How You're Doing
By Chelsea Fagan

Some nights, when I couldn't sleep, I would do this thing -- I'd look at the Facebook profile of a guy I used to date. 

We weren't together that long, only about a month, and it never really got that serious. But for that month, for that time we were together, we were together. We saw each other almost every day and got to know each other really quickly (maybe far too quickly). We didn't share mutual friends, but we met each others', we melted into each others' lives, if only for a few minutes. It was nice. It felt...adult. 

But in the end, it didn't work out. We were never really compatible, and although there were many things I adored about him, we went our separate ways. Life happens. No hard Feelings. 

And it's odd, in looking at his profile, I felt this objective sense of curiosity. No emotions colored my interest, there was no fevered clicking through photos, no frantic searching for updates on his life. He wasn't dating anyone new, but even if he had been, I wouldn't have cared. I just found myself asking simple questions. Who is this person? What does he do now? He must be the same, he lives in that same beautiful apartment that was always a few degrees too cold. He still wears that sweater that I loved, the one I occasionally stole. 

And though we weren't a great love story, although we were just a flash in the pan-two people in their twenties, laughing and bullshitting and drinking Blue Moon, we were something. I can remember the way he sounds, the way his hair felt, the way he made tea in the mornings when the sun melted through the window. I can still hear his laugh, still taste the strawberries we got at the farmers market, so juicy and ripe they almost fell apart in your hands. It's all still here. But even with such visceral memories, he doesn't exist to me anymore. 

Valentine-ish Images

Don't get down on yourself if you're single, as I am. I haven't made any special plans for tomorrow night at all. Instead, call up a few close friends and spend the evening preparing a simple dinner and watching a heartwarming film.

Sometimes it can be nice to look back on old memories by rummaging through valentine cards and sweet notes from past loves. I tend to keep a modest collection of heartfelt pieces from past relationships. It can be painful too look at these soon after a breakup though, so you may find it wise to tuck them away for a while before being able to fully appreciate them again.

The following is a letter from years ago that made me smile...

August 2005

 Renee,

Ever since the day I met you, my heart has pounded through my chest. You can make me smile when I am in the worst mood, you have the most beautiful personality of anyone I have met, there are just so many great traits about you that it would take me a week to write them all down. I have never been happier or more satisfied than I have been with you. You truly are a one-of-a-kind girlfriend. You mean so much to me that I am at a loss of words. Thank you for letting me hold you in my arms. I have never felt so complete.

Sincerely, 

A.L.

I do hope everyone has a nice valentine's day!

________________
a few related links:
- a collection other people's love letters
- a decadent french recipe for coeur a la creme
- dear old love may leave a melancholy aftertaste
- one, two, three, four, five love quotes
- a love letter written in one sentence

(photo sources: 1 / 2 / 3 / 4 / 5 / 6 / 7)

The One Who Leaves

I'm trying to get some homework done at a coffee shop right now, but as usual something I was thinking about made me lose my focus. I decided to take a small break and read though some of the new articles on thought catalog since I haven't been on there in a while. After reading through a few of the titles, I finally came across one that sounded intriguing entitled It's Harder to be the One Who Leaves.

I've witnessed a number of friends and acquaintances who have stayed in relationships they've been miserable in, simply because they fear they won't find a better match, which is an awful reason. I've heard some of the most ridiculous justifications for their partners, too. Because of that, I realized I'd never want to be in a relationship that goes against my core belief system and overall happiness, when it should be more of a positive incorporation to my life, and less of a negative one. 

I can't let myself go off topic and expand on anything specific, but for me, it took a while for the shock of a particular past breakup go into full effect. The logical reasons for ending it seemed to disappear once things finally begin to settle in. Of course this is more applicable to long-term and serious relationships, but when you are the one who ended it, you are expected to be the stronger one. It's likely you won't get as much much sympathy compared to the one whose heart you broke, even if yours is broken in just as many pieces.

There are a multitude of thoughts and feelings that are difficult to communicate or to understand unless you've been in that particular position, some of which are discussed in this article. I felt this.

________________________
a few things to keep in mind:

-be thankful for the good times.

-don't look so regrettably at the closed door.

-you will be happy again, promise.

-to have something half-way is harder.

(photo source)

Autumn and an Article

Autumn imagery and a humorous thought catalog article, is it fall yet?

one | two | three | four

Thought Catalog

Sometimes I rather curl up in bed with a good read instead of going out to get wasted with the rest of the twenty-somethings out there. Lately, I've been hooked on Thought Catalog. The site is ran by a younger group of free-lance writers who don't take themselves too serious, and comprised of a wide range of articles and humorous anecdotes. Their stories incorporate plenty of wit, sarcasm and intelligence. I find this new sort of breed of journalists to be rather entertaining and get a kick out of what I come across while exploring the latest. 

You may have to look past your initial reaction and just laugh about some of the articles, as I'm sure there are people who wouldn't condone certain topics brought up. They do touch on current events and issues of a more serious nature as well, but it's pretty entertaining to delve into the less serious and more raunchy/humorous ones. Check it out for yourself:

What Happens When You Get Into a Relationship 

By: Ryan O'Connell

When you get into a relationship, you will be a lot happier? I think that’s how it works. I’m not entirely sure. You’re supposed to feel like you’ve won some implicit race—the race to monogamy and security and family vacations and cocktail parties and faded polaroids and diapers and screaming and tears and orgasms and i love you and i hate you. Yeah, I think that’s what it’s all about.

When you get into a relationship, you’re going to be a lot fatter? You’ll be eating spaghetti and meatballs every night, which will be topped with I’m In Love sauce. Every dollop of I’m In Love sauce contains 3,000 calories though. In fact, every time you tell your significant other “I love you”, you go up a waist size. I think this is okay. I think this doesn’t matter. I think if you’re going to be fat, you might as well be in love.

When you get into a relationship, you’re going to forget about all the bad things that ever happened to you? That’s what happens when you have someone. You. Just. Forget. You’re on love drugs, which causes amnesia, which causes happiness. Every moment of your life is dedicated to being present and attentive. The long stretch of time that exists ahead of you doesn’t feel so daunting. I think that’s how it works. I really don’t know, you know?

When you get into a relationship, it will fix everything? You’ll stop getting sad while watching certain movies or feeling like a piece of crap when you read Cosmopolitan. You’re invincible to it now. They can’t get to you anymore. The lambs have stopped screaming. I’m not a doctor though. Like, I’m not sure, but I’m pretty sure about all of this.

When you get into a relationship, you’re going to be hurting someone very badly someday. Because that relationship will alter at some point and it will feel like the wind has been knocked out of you. This is how it all works. This I know for certain. I know this more than the weight gain and the fixing everything and the cocktail parties and the diapers and the orgasms. This has happened to me. This has happened to you. This happens. It’s sad, I guess, but it’s also just what we have to endure as people with brains and hearts and genitalia. Getting into a relationship means getting outside of yourself and into someone else, and then finding your way back to you again. The whole process just makes you feel so…alive? Yes, that’s it. That’s what it’s all about. Feeling alive big bang boom. Bingo. Can I go now? 

__________________________
a few more articles I enjoyed: 
-What I Actually Think During A Random Hook Up
-5 Reasons I Hate Cell Phones (And You Should Too)
-A List of Highly Effective Ways To Procrastinate
-The Pros And Cons Of Being Introverted

-Top 5 Things People Like To Write On Someone's Facebook Wall

-Being Depressed Has Benefits

Revisiting Perks

I was happy to come across this article on Thought Catolog because The Perks of Being a Wallflower was one of my favorite books when I was younger. Even now I'll go back and read a passage or two and feel a sort of nostalgia for that time in my life when I had first discovered the book, and how nice it was to find I wasn't the only one with those same types of thoughts or feelings. It made me feel not-so-alone at a time in my life when I could very much relate to the main character of the book, Charlie.

By Ryan Gilbert

For those of you not familiar with the story, I will give you a brief synopsis. Perks is a novel written as a series of letters from a narrator, Charlie, to an anonymous “friend.” Charlie is a teenager who is about to enter his freshman year of high school and he describes various scenes of his life over the course of one year in these letters. The events Charlie describes in his candid and bare-faced letters involve a mix of the usual and not-so-typical teenage problems: sex, drug use, loneliness, suicide, homosexuality, pregnancy, and, overall, the awkward times of adolescence. Charlie is the titular “wallflower” of the novel and we see everything through his unjaded and trusting eyes. In his first letter, Charlie writes, “So, this is my life. And I want you to know that I am both happy and sad and I’m still trying to figure out how that could be.” This simple confession is, in essence, what the novel is all about. (read more)

(photo credit: Jasmine Raena)